Rainbow Disco Fauna

26 Aug
The amazing & amuzing disco fauna & flora

The amazing & amuzing disco fauna & flora

It’s more fun than watching television. The show is live and unpredictable. And you don’t even pay for it (besides the entrance fee). Yep, I went to a (gay) disco again after being absent from the party world for a long long time (what’s even more: I went in Antwerp and once again when I was in Poland). It does require some sacrifice, because it doesn’t start till 2am, but once the guys get going, there’s no end to the amazement & amusement. Till the lights go on at 6am, which turns this fairy tale into harsh reality.

  • PS If you have a categorisation of the Gay world (fun or serious) I would be happy to read about it – Add it in the comments below?

Disco Poodle - definitely

Disco Poodle - definitely

It’s sooo funny to see all those people shake or stumble around – amidst overly loud music (I made a point by putting in my ear plugs ;-). The one thing they have in common is being GAY – or at least being in a gay disco on a Saturday night (=Sunday morning). That’s why I think the rainbow is a very appropriate symbol for the gay community – there’s many different colours around*:

  • There’s the Party Poodles on the little dance podium: in hot pants, army boots, leg warmers, and a shirt that is not worth the name shirt for its sheer flimsiness. They are fake blonds and look like christmas trees because of all the necklaces and bracelets. They hide behind sunglasses (as big as their heads) and twist their boyish bodies in the most impossible positions. They scream: “watch me, look at me, I’m gorgeous” without words. (Probably part of the Fashion Queen family)
  • A typical muscle mary - topless to show the merchandise

    A typical muscle mary - topless to show the merchandise

    The main type you can find in discos à la Demence (Brussels) or Red & Blue (Antwerp) are the Muscle Maries (a.k.a. gym queens or fitness fairies). They have found the ultimate expression of their masculinity: breasts. Their pectorals are so strongly developed they should really wear a bra – but instead they wear nothing, not even body hair (sponsored by Veet). When dancing around in monokini, they like to see themselves in the mirrors. One should take care not to bump into them, unless you wanna be wet (they use disco as a bonus workout session on the weekend) or scratched by their stubbles (front AND back).

  • Almost in the same category are the Wannabees: they also hop around bare-chestedly, but they simply don’t have the body for it. Let’s say these guys have found the art of “accepting themselves”, so they gave up on the shaving, the working out or the looking good all together. Or maybe their friends dared them to take off their shirts as a bet, or they are simply hot from dancing… (or other substances)
  • Bear - front side

    Bear - front side

    Another group of guys that seemed to have gotten lost in the disco, were the Bears – some of them teddy but others not. They seem to like round hairy shapes, whether it’s on chins & cheeks, belly or behind… Luckily they are mostly hiding those hairy attributes, behind some leather apparel or lumber jack shirts – their rainforest faces excepted.

  • Make way make way - the Queen is coming

    Make way make way - the Queen is coming

    And when then sea of bodies separates in true Moses style to let someone pass, you can be sure it’s the Drag Queen(s) that have arrived. It seems to be a universal affliction in the gay world, to have a fascination with drag – for better or for worse (even in Cambodia & Thailand). You can find anything from the homeless guy in dress rummaging the garbage bins in Brussels, till the mates going crazy on a stag night, to guys in beautiful dresses and wigs performing a horrible show on stage. (One exception – my drag performer friend from Bangkok)

  • Some places tend to have more Druggy Dancers than others. Brussels & Amsterdam is famous for them. These guys stumble around the disco, rather than walking, falling from one guy’s arms into another’s. They tend to end up somewhere else but their own bed, probably have great ‘interaction’ but they just can’t remember it anymore the next day.
  • Are you on first row or turn away?

    Are you on first row or turn away?

    When there’s some shows on stage, you can also distinguish the Seks Addicts. They are the ones on the first row of the tasteless ‘Club Flesh’ live performances. Or if they miss the show, that’s probably because they were occupied in their second habitat: the darkroom.

  • The ones I never understood are the Suits & Ties. There are actually men coming to (watch people) dance at 3am wearing a suit & tie. Having recently bought a suit, I would never dream to go shaking my body in this uncomfortable and expensive costume, and have it smoked at the same time. Or maybe there’s a category I have not discovered yet: the suit-lovers. Hm, maybe I should try to wear my suit next time (and take plasters for the blisters caused by my carnivorous shoes).
  • Did everybody see we're together?

    Did everybody see we're together?

    Here and there are some Confirmation Couples, on the dance floor, in a corner, at the most inappropriate places – as long as it is in public. They can be of any of the types above, but their thing is to be kissing, licking, rubbing and touching for all to see. If they would be dogs they would probably sniff each other’s arses and pee on each other to mark their territory. Yeah yeah, we know you are a couple now, get a life and stop visually harassing all the rest…


  • And between all of that – there’s a ‘normal’ guy like me * – lost amidst this rainbow…
  • …but with a big amused smile on my face and plugs in my ears ;-)

*Of course I’m generalising, it wouldn’t be a fun post otherwise ;-) No offence meant to anyone.



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